It is widely known that many patients suffering from mental illness become confused about God. Some experience delusions where they believe they are prophets or gods (or other people). I am friends with a bipolar university student who believed he was Jesus before beginning treatment. Today, on medication, he is scoring high grades and advocating for the mentally ill– all with the goal of becoming a psychiatrist. When I was mentally ill, I had expectations of becoming a powerful and influential person, and I believed I would someday become a prophet. Fortunately, I had the insight to never share these thoughts with anyone at any time.

With My Parents.

       Within the Christian community, there are misperceptions about mental illness. An anonymous reader wrote me recently, encouraging me to “plead the blood of Jesus” so that I would be cured and could stop my medications. I wonder if this person would “plead the blood of Jesus” for bacterial infections, cancers, diabetes, and other illnesses. If not, why mental illness?

     When I was hospitalized the first time, my psychiatrist believed that reading the Bible was counterproductive to my recovery, and limited my Bible reading to half an hour each day. Being censored from reading the Bible made me dislike my psychiatrist, at a time when learning to trust him was vital to recovery. I believe I would have been encouraged by reading the Bible at that time. I wonder if patients ever benefit from limiting Bible reading. There is sometimes a lack of understanding about the role of religion in psychiatric hospitals.

       Today, I understand that God can work not just in spite of horrible situations in our lives, but through them, and even because of them. The horrible life I once lived is the reality for mentally ill homeless people. I hope to become their advocate. Even when I was psychotic, suffering from hallucinations and hearing voices, God actually felt very close. He has always been bigger than my illness. I believe that God can heal through using medications.

          With time, I hope that the mentally ill will be shown more understanding in the Christian community, and also in mental hospitals.

(Pictured above are me, my mom and my dad in front of the sign for Rozetta Baptist Church in Rozetta, Illinois, 2012. My dad was pastor of Rozetta Baptist Church from when I was a baby until I was five years old. We visited the church again in summer of 2012 for their 175 anniversary.)