Last year, a professor invited me to join his students on a tour of a newly renovated state psychiatric hospital. It had been seven years since I was hospitalized myself (three times, several days each time, during the course of one year) but I remembered my hospitalizations very clearly, and was eager to join in on the tour. I wanted to see what the hospital would look like from my new perspective, since I have recovered from mental illness.
It is a totally different experience entering a locked ward as a visitor, as opposed to being admitted as a patient. As a patient, I felt trapped and isolated, and had a sense that I was missing out on life. As a visitor, I was able to see more clearly how psychiatric care can turn a person’s life around, leading to recovery, reintegration into society, and a better quality of life.
Spring at the University of Cincinnati. Personally, when I was hospitalized, going outside everyday gave me a better quality of life.
As we cleared security and entered the hospital, a young, female psychiatrist led us into an open lobby with a high ceilings and many large windows. Sunlight illuminated the space with natural light. There was a large pavilion filled with small tables, which appeared similar to a restaurant, and functioned as their cafeteria. An aviary filled with song birds served as a transparent barrier between the cafeteria and a lounge area with couches.
Patients’ bedrooms looked comfortable, and featured large windows that overlooked a grassy field. They reminded me of a nice dormitory bedroom where I lived during my freshman year of college, in size and layout.
Outside the hospital, there was an enclosed patio area with benches and tables. It served as a place for patients to rest and socialize. Since the patients were busy in morning therapy groups and meetings with doctors, it was empty, but I could imagine patients reading outside, or relaxing while playing board games.
For me, being severely mentally ill and needing to be committed in a psychiatric hospital was devastating. I felt embarrassed and distraught. But, looking back, I am grateful for the high quality of the facilities I stayed in when I was sick. When taking the tour of the new state hospital, I found it to be even nicer than the facilities where I was hospitalized. Watching the song birds and the sunlight streaming through the large windows gave me a sense of hope.
People often hold a negative view toward psychiatric hospitals. In TV shows and movies, psychiatric hospitals are often presented in highly sensational ways, leaving viewers with the impression that these institutions are barbaric and cruel, and that practices such as restraining patients are almost routine. In my experience, I never witnessed big men in white coats wrestling patients to the ground to restrain them like they do in the movies. Instead, patients who became agitated were given sedative medication, a practice which greatly reduces the need to use restraints.
As we finished the tour, our guide (the young psychiatrist) showed us a tiny room, measuring about ten feet by ten feet in floor space, that had been created as a place to restrain patients. She explained that it was rarely used, and this was confirmed by the fact that the room was being used as a storage closet.
During the past few years, I have met many psychiatrists through university seminars and dinners, including a few doctors who work in the hospital where I took the tour, and also our tour guide. I know these doctors to be intelligent and caring people. I recognize how much good they do every day for people who are psychotic and suffering, like I used to be, and for others who are in remission, as I am now.
When I think back to the time of my first hospitalization in a locked psychiatric ward, it brings back painful feelings. I felt like I was being incarcerated or punished. But when I visited the renovated state psychiatric hospital seven years later, I felt a sense of gratitude for my hospital stays, which became a turning point in my life. The goal of the hospital is to help patients rebuild their lives. Personally, the treatment I began in the hospital allows me to live a reclaimed, busy life, filled with meaningful work, family, and friends.
Stigma says that psychiatric hospitals are dangerous or scary places. We internalize messages from the media that lead us to believe these hospitals are filled with big men in white coats, restrained patients, and a feeling of hopelessness. The reality is that today, in 2016, many psychiatric hospitals provide excellent care. These institutions are not dangerous or scary. They are supportive places designed to help patients recover and reenter society.
Hi Bethany, This was a very interesting read, so thank you. Please know I do not desire to dismiss your story, as it is one of courage, bravery, and heart – your experience. As a patient of forced psychiatric drugging and first hand victim of restraints, I simply desire to state both still exist in the United States (my experience was in 2015). Everything is not created equal. I truly and sincerely hope your experience never included forced psychiatric drugging or the use of restraints and you were somehow asked to be kept silent or are living in fear of retaliation. The psychiatric ward I was in was in Washington State. It was off any main drag, and not easily accessible to the public. I was taken there against my will in handcuffs, after a wrongful arrest. So I can relate to the fact you have been arrested, as well. Truly, I wish this ‘relation’ were not the case. On one hand it is morbidly comforting and the other endlessly unsettling. Until the incident, I had no idea what a psychiatric ward even was. The place never let anyone outside, to my recollection while I was there. I was never offered to go outside, even after my initial restraint. After I had been admitted (if I recall correctly, upon my exit), I was given information sheets that had an ‘agenda’ for the day, but the ‘agenda’ was never administered because I was leaving. I refused to sign the papers. While I was there, my HIPPA rights were violated and nurses spoke to someone who called in asking about me (who I had privately phoned prior). In my three days in a psychiatric ward, I witnessed a young man in his early 30s being put into restraints. I remember hearing him scream while I was in my room. I am really curious to know if patients are allowed to be outside unsupervised at the place you toured? The place I was locked in was one step up from a jail. I would be scared to tour the place, but have also contemplated it as part of the healing process.